Unfair...

Wow... I can't actually believe how long I've left my thoughts kept inside me!? I mean, the only reason I wrote was to capitalize on my current state-of-mind, which is both perplexed and at the same time vividly clear about my thoughts!

A recent film org mate of mine just passed on. His death came as a shock and despite all shortcomings, we never saw this one until it happened. Like a bright light of hope, his beacon never dimmed so much that we failed to notice any difference. His come-what-may and happy-go-lucky attitude to life and burning desire for love made him a valuable friend and insightful artist, but also a challenging character to hold on to, yet that was what attracted people to him. I only wish that it didn't have to go down this way. You will be remembered...

Things have been pretty much routine yet totally bizarre this last month of January. I mean, coming back right after a short trip straight into the grind, it's been a non-stop roller-coaster ride if you ever call it that, but an awesome trip nonetheless. I mean, what I've started last year is still pretty strong (i guess) but we're having fun and enjoying life and all its fruits! :D On another note, classes are slowly mellowing out to receive the incoming summer (which I'll be signing up classes for... there's not much time left, you know?) and then straight into my first semester... nice huh?

Need those 6

Need those 6

Ok, maybe 4 might work too...

Nice to see that Barry's still up for anything, like the hair bro! I wish I could've been there but man, it's such a pain leaving now. Especially since I'm really invested in several projects and my own to care for. Anyways, I saw some pictures, hope there's more.

This is a very delicate matter but no one likes to hear the truth about their own country, and I mean this will all due respect when I say that self-righteousness causes denial and will spawn all other deceitful traits that will help them covet the attention of other people. No, I'm not ranting and spewing unintelligible nonsense, I mean what I say but I hate to bring attention to any particular group/individual/organization/society/establishment. Nuff said.

What else has been happening? Hmm... I guess school's been funny. Productions are probably on hold for a while, or not. But what's keeping me busy are reports and papers, which are always a welcomed break from conceptualizing to shoots and readings, but nothing beats a good production. Sigh... he will be missed. Truly

Asta

Just had to post this.. gawdawfulshenaniganbeeass

http://news.my.msn.com/regional/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3650224#toolbar

Read this, laugh, weep, and realise why Malaysia is considered a first world country in terms of its facilities, but third world in terms of its mentality. I don't know much about the official formalities regarding judicial processes or requirements, but as a layperson, I find this totally bizarre and a violation of civil rights (which I believe is a myth in the Country).

I rest my case.

So then there was this flood...

16 and some inches in just over 9 hours
311 deaths so far
1000 mayors who own garbage disposal sevices (?) wtff?
then again, i've got an ass-for-a-prime minister back home so why should i be so concerned about the socio-political scene here when my own country of birth is in need of some serious reality-check?

Check it out; cigarettes have gone up to RM9.30 (Php 124.62) per pack of 20s! That's like... EU or Singapore prices! I mean, honestly, how can a man earning less than RM2000 be able to afford smoking anymore, when it's his only vice- which is taken away from him because of the exorbitant prices?! It's ridiculous! Yeah, fine fine, blame it all on the Syariah Laws or the Ministry of Health for pandering to global pressure to reduce the amount of tobacco related deaths... but that's all a lie. For those who've quit, awesome! I salute you. Stay strong, stay healthy and stay out of my face! I will not concede to the lie that smoking is the number one killer in the world (high cholesterol, obesity, cardiovascular problems not-related to smoking). No, it does not cause cancer as many would have you believe, and believe you me, cancer is the last thing on your mind - especially now with the world in an economic state of despair. Marx would have been proud. (Tell me i'm mistaken on the last part. I always thought Marx was not particularly fond of capitalist ideals)

I'm sleepy... maybe I'll dream of floods and cute girls... ;P Aah...

So what now?

A note on interesting conversation topics and subjects of discussions: usually made up or over-sensationalised garbage!!!

just a thought...


Talk about long time comings... I didn't realise it had been almost 2 whole months since my last post and well, yeah, it's about that time of the year where I dread realising how little time I have left to fulfill all I want to do before cancer/fatal accidents/physical ailments/acquired immune deficiency syndrome/force majeure/impotency take over my already semi-deluded consciousness. Phew, glad I got that out of the way. So what's new in my life then?

Political news: Aquino-Roxas ... interesting. GMA ... *yawn* (hurry up already and get it over with). Lacson - Erap ... great *clears throat* minds think alike. I think that's all I wanna say about the political situation here. Be that as it may, I'm quite pleased at some of my other friends who are beginning to realise the value of being critically honest about their Country and establishments... and maturing while learning more about it at the same time.

Entertainment news: Too much to discuss. Basically lots of awards and recognitions where independent movies are concerned. I'm still quite surprised at the recent achievements by Pepe Diokno and Brilliante Mendoza. (Makes me wanna drop out altogether) Cinemaone Originals coming up real soon and I guess as much as it pains me to say this - Malaysian filmmakers, please please please buck up! Break the cycle! Religion is only a guideline for the benefit of the ruling class to hone in on its subordinates! Film is the new literature and we should abuse it as much as we can to make people realise that we're more than just a "melting pot" of cultures or a "religious-secular state" or that our main achievements come in the form of steel and concrete, not minds or ideas.

Sports news: Manny Pacquiao being accused of doping by Mayweather Sr. (Give it up old man. Even if he did, he did it well enough that he didn't get caught i.e. credit on the part of his pharmacist/coach - p.s. not libel or slander... think sarcastic cynicism) Ateneo finally bested UP in cheerleading. They only won because one of the UP cheerleaders fell from the top of the pyramid. Otherwise, it would've been ours. Congrats to FEU on a stunning performance!

I think that wraps up whatever I've bothered to fill my mind with over the last 2 months. Basically, I've been caught up in a whole bunch of other stuff, I'm actually pleased that those bits of information still held onto my slowly deteriorating brain cells. Apart from the fact that I have my own academic requirements to catch up and handle, I think I've been quite balanced in my schedules. (I do admit cramming and cutting classes to meet other requirements were necessary but all in good measure) Photography has been awesome but really tiring work, my first production class has been quite satisfactory (albeit mostly receiving critical acclaim for my first 2 group productions but, I'll take it!), I hate communication theories with all my heart, but I'll still find time to pass the damn thing anyways, Math 1 should be called Applied Arts and Crafts in Mathematics not Appreciation of Mathematics, P.E. (Swimming) is... P.E., and Persyan 10 (language class) is interestingly interesting (I'm running out of adjectives cos suddenly I was in Farsi mode. Don't ask why). Other than that, I guess I'm doing pretty well considering a lot of other things that have been pushed my way, (or whatever that I'm groping around in the dark for) but I can't wait for the end of the year. I can't wait for this semester to be over. I can't wait because tomorrow might be another opportunity for me to make a better impression on someone's life. I can't wait because if tomorrow never comes, I'm probably dead already. I just can't wait to see the light of day. Happy Birthday to me... doesn't sound too happy, does it?

What are our chances?

I am writing this in shock.
I am writing this in pain.
I am writing this in sadness.
I am writing this in despair.
I am writing this to tell people how I really feel.
I am writing.

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Yasmin binti Ahmad, one of the greatest minds in our Country (no exaggeration, if you know what I mean), has passed away on the 25th of July, 2009, at the Damansara Specialist Hospital due to a stroke and hemorrhaging in the brain. I'm still reeling in shock. It wasn't about the movies she made, it was more of the intent she had making it that struck a chord with my own desires in filmmaking itself.

I am literally at a loss for words at the moment. No, I'm not crying but I should because this really means a lot especially that the fight for freedom of expression is once again cast into the shadows of religious ridicule and political hegemony. Do I feel angry? Does it really make sense to rant on about something so blown-out-of-proportion? It does. It is. It warrants the same respect out of any person who knows the importance of being able to love without boundaries, and how we can find this sort of love because to be frank, chivalry and romantic allusions are slowly becoming only a thing of literature and old movies. Stuff that you only see in Bollywood movies, yet in the same narrative would only be stifled by the 'powers that be' and that holds too true in real life itself.

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Dammit... I really need to take some time off for now.

Asta

Blitz! Blitz!!

So it's back to school for moi and it's like everything's the same as it was... yeah... pretty much. School got postponed for almost a week and that's thanks to the now infamous AH1N1 flu that's running rampant around the country! Talk about sweet shit luck when I thought I could avoid it, here comes 100 plus cases within the first week of my return! Then the numbers just grew ridiculously huge (not monumentally) hitting 311, last I checked. Thankfully, the government has since then begun a huge flu awareness campaign which spread to become a flu awareness month, which is this month, and has begun giving out vaccines and advising proper hygiene awareness like placing ethyl alcohol bottles for hand sanitizing in buildings around campus and offices. But the good news is that no fatalities so far and hopefully none, but it's really weird how some cases appeared in the most remote and unexpected areas. I guess when there's a will, there's a way, or maybe the virus managed to recreate itself within the locale? It's a mystery I'm intrigued to find out about but not gonna stick my neck out too far to unearth.

As it is now, the government is truly fucking with the nation's minds!!! Can't they see that all they're doing is aggravating an already irritated society which just doesn't want any more trivial problems like administrative inconsistencies? (a.k.a. shenanigans) I admit that in spite of the many achievements that have been attained by this proud and culturally historical nation, there's really much to be desired about its governance and the people in it. I know that as a foreigner, my opinion only matters as much as that of the next fil-am who comes on the occasional visit to see his mother's-land, but if it's too much for me to take, how much more is it for the people whom I see day-in and day-out, who have lived through and witnessed all their lives the unbelievable audaciousness of their leaders every single day???

I can't write anymore... I've got to go to a party and I don't wanna have a long face on just because of my post... although I do have plenty to say, but I'll keep it for another day.

Asta...

Immediate response

Now where was I...?

Oh yeah, about my return. So I'm immediately set-up for a meeting with my org committee and it was on Monday morning. (I got back here on Sunday) All's well that ends well and that was how the meeting went. I guess you could line me up as a workaholic-type bum but that's bordering on oxymoronism (don't judge... :P) I figured that getting a jump start on things would allow me more freedom to tackle the oncoming haggard enrollment period but hell was I wrong! Running back and forth from home to college was no fun trip especially with the never-ending rain which happened to be because of low-pressure (talk about irony!!!) but I needed to get this over with - which apparently isn't so.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday!!! And that's just last week cos I'm still not done yet! So I'll be hobbling back to school this Monday but that's just the beginning of things to come... wooo... scary ending. Hehe. So with sore feet and blisters on the most awkward places, I think I'm ready to enter my classes with gusto! :P But the fun doesn't stop in getting all the subjects I want, it's knowing that classes have been postponed til the second week that made my vacation even more enjoyable! Wow! talk about a cheesy grade school essay! I think I'm slowly losing my matured touch with vocabulary seeing as I do have to deal with mainly academic and less professional lingo on a daily basis. Trying to catch up with the language too doesn't help much.

But for now, everything seems to be in order, and as Terminator says.... "I'll be back!"

asta